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Writer's pictureJessica Lynn

Understanding Types of Leadership: Servant Leader Vs. Selfish Leader

Updated: Jul 18, 2020

1.12.19

In the last three days, many things have come to the forefront.

Understanding the work dynamic between my SPM(Senior Project Manager), myself, and how I work under pressure (contingent to organizational abilities, creating systems, and remaining calm versus hysteria) and the techniques used to remain in control. Below is a real life example of dealing with a selfish leader, and how I recognized myself as servant leader.



Without clearly outlining his time frame or inquiring my own responsibilities, the SPM immediately became argumentative and dismissive. This all circled around his idea of an EGD (Environment Graphic Design) Schedule (which I was more than happy to make changes to) but not in the period, he eventually alluded to. The task was very time consuming and paired with my other responsibilities, unnecessarily overburdening my workload.


By Wednesday night, I started to become so overwhelmed, sleep became sporadic. I would fall asleep at my regular bedtime then wake at 3 a.m. Evidently, not setup for success.

Thursday rolled around, I was prepared with a game plan on how to finish and proceed with imperative tasks. The morning was busy as I worked through backed up Change Orders and the few details I clearly understood to correct for the SPM on the EGD Schedule. 9 a.m. rolled around and I was pulled by the SPM to speak with himself and another SPM. I was informed the Engineer over Structural Steel was leaving and they felt I was the best person for the job. I was slightly stunned and humbled. In addition, curious and a little anxious of how to completely cut ties with one scope I was still learning and had strong relationships with the trade-partners.


My SPM gave no valid feedback, instead talked down to me about how my schedule to roll out at 4 p.m. everyday wasn’t going to work (I work from 6 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. daily/this is before and after my SPM comes and leaves work). The new SPM was quite the opposite, offering a real picture of what I was going into and what expectations I might have. My SPM talked to hear himself speak. There was nothing he stated in this discussion to display he encouraged my switch in role or his belief I was up to the task. Later on, as I was speaking to another individual about the announced change, the SPM made a comment “Like you had a choice”. Of course, I did not respond, feeling there was no need to lower myself to his level. Instead, I spoke to a few others and confidently said "If there was really a concern, had I truly disbelieved I couldn’t fill this role, I think the new SPM would have worked with me to process or rally to replace me with another.

A few hours later during my last PCI Meeting, my soon to be old SPM decided he was going to announce my transition from Interiors to Structural Steel. 15 minutes prior, I had been pushing back on his decision to cancel my meeting. I stood my ground, saying this the last meeting with PCI- the Engineer to take over my scopes, needed to have a clean slate to work (two pages of items needed to be closed out of the Agenda) and an opportunity to get in the know of where PCI stood with their ongoing scope. The SPM finally agreed saying "Fine, but take the new Engineer and do not tell them your change of position". He continued commenting, rambling everything needs to be 100% before they are included. When in reality (sitting in the meeting observing him speak) it was all about the attention, the focus about me turned to him (the SPM). 


The next day, the SPM continued to show his lack of empathy or leadership qualities in a multitude of ways. The first (of the day) was his use of hysteria to excuse poor communication and behavior traits. This was exemplified while he yelled at me about a radio’s location while I was in the midst of an update from another Engineer about Block outs (wood bucks made to create a form for pre-placement of concrete). A younger (female) Engineer was high-pitched and somewhat frantic in the situation, repeatedly trying to get my attention. Instead of waiting for me to finish (doing as instructed) with my hand up to acknowledge/give me a moment, the SPM took it upon himself to YELL at me. The new SPM (my new SPM) stated firmly, “She is doing her job” immediately addressing the situation. The only thing I had to offer the old SPM, was a side eye and in my head to the new SPM, hell yes, thanks you!


The day continued on as such with my lunch meetings being cancelled to accommodate my site presence to assist the team for a pressing concrete placement. Three hours later I came back in light headed, extremely hungry (missed breakfast/taco truck already left before I got down from level 4) and flat out exhausted from the combination of demanding physical work and lack of quality sleep, mixed with serious anxiety. I told the old SPM, I was headed out to grab myself lunch. He inquired about a specific lunch meeting I had mentioned earlier in the week. When I explained I had cancelled the lunch, he demanded (yes, between the tone and his statement) I ORDER 10 pizzas to feed the team.

He was too busy leaving for a few hours early to go get glasses, while the rest of us were on Level 4 working, assisting, and problem solving. So of course, being a team player, I ordered the 10 pizzas, and then drove to pick them up (Which is not a simple task). Tired and hungry with the help of the Safety Engineer, the SPM continues to text me, asking if the pizzas were on site (I was still driving and had just left). 


Upon my arrival, the SPM pounced on the pizzas. Literally, pulling the boxes, flipping them open one by one. Did not even bother to get plates or notify the rest of the TEAM, started eating. The Safety Engineer went to get plates and napkins, I walked around and texted everyone “Pizza is here”.


Make your own observations if you will- but this man is self-centered and narcissistic. He is a snake. Problem is, I see right through him and he knew it. When others are around, especially women, he is kind and cordial, makes eye contact, and appears respectful. When “dealing” with me, stares at his phone, mumbles, questions my knowledge or information shared, defensively responds I KNOW (other times has even stated I was talking to him like he was stupid). Anyone who knows me will tell you that is not the way I speak to others. Everyone is a teammate; no one is beneath me nor me they.


Over time, my experiences working in or around construction have shaped my ability to adapt to most situations. There have been some learning curves including how to not be wrapped up in a difficult situation(s) or tight deadlines. Being rested and able to formulate a plan are the biggest positive factors for success. The example detailed above (Friday) the mix of big changes, a major setback could potentially impede our schedule, and a major milestone. We were all gathered together and asked to reschedule/postpone meetings/lunches, other plans outside of helping out with the Incline Ramp.


As we sat in the conference room, the new SPM outlined who needed to do what, people voluntold to work on specific tasks, the energy in the room built up. It was clear we all needed to divide and conquer to move forward on the concrete placement to be performed on the following day. After tasks were divvied up, everyone moved about to their “battle stations”.


As I moved around observing those working, it felt like a slowed down version of each person’s movement. I could quickly identify who was about to do something unsafe (and corrected immediately or provided necessary gear) the attention to what bar was loose with my footstep, or who was missing from the deck and those literally standing still, not assisting in anything. Many were frantic, especially the younger Engineers. On the deck, distraught frenzy behaviors were rampant. It was seen as the constant radio calls – tone of the request, the slipping through rebar, and comments about how “Women should not walk on rebar because our feet are so small” or the repetitive calling of individuals. I saw this behavior continue with my old SPM. There was a nervous energy as he moved about. The SPM appeared helpful as he enlisted reinforcements, pacing around the trailer. At this point, everyone else had moved to Level 4 of the building to assist in delegated tasks. He on the other hand spoke in an overly energetic manner about how he was going to get his glasses and unable to assist outside.


These pieces fit together in a moment to understand the dynamics of the deck, who was comfortable with the operations, and the next task to tackle.

As I worked through the block outs (which were confirmed in the correct location), I recognized a few more things to work through. Switching gears I started to feel an almost self-consciousness wash over, as I realized how different my attitude was from those around me. I took each task breaking it down and focused.  This was a similar trait by the older male Engineers. They took one step at a time until completion of the job, then worked on finding another item to complete. The female and younger Engineers appeared frantic, nervous, and uncomfortable. They were loud and in constant need of validation. 


In hindsight, I did exactly what I needed and cannot be like anyone else. I am a very take-charge person who has diverse conditioning, enabling the skills to be flexible and finding it easier to jump from one thing to the next. The last few days have shown me how capable I am in setting others up as well. Not only was I able to work through sludge like shock due to responsibility changes, I have set the next person who is in charge of my “old” scope for success. He will look like a smooth operator because he has all the tools organized and at his fingertips. Most of what I have been developing and processing through the last few months are now just at their final stages. In the next few weeks, he will be able to take what is handed over and look golden. Is this a direct reflection of self? Sure. The person leading the Interiors Scope, SPM, will take ownership and even attempt to use it against me, saying the new Engineer is better at my job and question my capability.


At the end of the day, what he says does not matter. I will prove myself well in my current role and many are behind me, alliances built, and a clear understanding of what I have done and will accomplish in the future.



Centennial Inc (2020). Servant Leader vs Selfish Leader and Why it Matters, Janelle Spence.


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